she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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