Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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