How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
