The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
