dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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