i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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