Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
