I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
