He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
