I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
