OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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