those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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