you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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