i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
