Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
