I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
