your room smells of hookers.
And success
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
