Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
