im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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