I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
