After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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