ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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