Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
