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Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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