When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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