The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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