have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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