after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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