my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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