hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
