if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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