Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
