It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
