What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
