just come out here and I will go home with you...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
