let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
