literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
