You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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