Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
