just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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