Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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