There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
