do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize