had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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