Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This house was built for laser tag.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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