i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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