Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
