I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
