i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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