i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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