Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Alive.
So much puke
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
