You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
