It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
