Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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