True but thats because hes a fetus.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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