Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
